Disclaimers: The usual. These characters aren't mine. Like no shit because if they were Voyager would have been a lot different. Anyway, I'm borrowing them for fun, no infringement intended to Paramount and I certainly make no money from this.
Timeline: Set in Season 6, soon after Voyager Conspiracy.
Thanks to Sezwan for beta reading.
~ Drunken Confessions ~
"Regeneration cycle complete," the static voice of the computer announced.
Seven Of Nine, late of the Borg Collective, stepped down from her regeneration alcove and quickly surveyed her surroundings. All was as she had left it.
The doors to Cargo Bay Two swished open and B'Elanna Torres, Chief Engineer of U.S.S. Voyager strolled in trying not to look out of place.
Seven immediately stood straighter, if that were possible, and regarded the Chief Engineer.
"Is there something I can assist you with, Lieutenant?" Seven asked her.
B'Elanna walked up to Seven and gave her a quick smile.
"Actually I was just wondering if you'd like to come with Tom and I to the party Neelix is throwing in holodeck one?"
Seven quirked her eyebrow with the Borg implant and regarded B'Elanna. This was not the first time she had asked Seven to join her in recreational activities. Ever since Seven's...break down two weeks earlier, B'Elanna had been making more and more of an effort to get to know the young Borg. While Seven found it a welcome change from their usual animosity, it was still slightly disconcerting and would take some getting used to.
Seven visibly relaxed.
"I had not intended to join the party," Seven answered honestly.
She appreciated the offer, but she had been feeling...she was not quite sure what she was feeling, but it was...depressing and she certainly did not feel like celebrating.
"Come on, Seven, we all need to relax once and a while and I'd say you've earned yourself a bit of downtime recently," B'Elanna said, trying to convince Seven.
"This party has no purpose," Seven stated.
B'Elanna sighed. It wasn't always easy trying to get along with Seven, but she was determined to.
"It's purpose is for the crew to relax and have a good time. Come on, it'll be a lot of fun. Even the Captain's going to make an appearance."
B'Elanna watched with curiosity as Seven's eyes lit up ever so slightly at the mention of the Captain.
Seven debated with herself internally for a few more seconds before finally saying, "Very well, I will attend this party with you and Ensign Paris. Are we to leave now?"
"Great! And yeah, let's get going. Party's already started."
They entered holodeck one and were immediately greeted by Tom Paris who gave a chaste kiss to B'Elanna and a smile to Seven.
"Glad you decided to join us, Seven. Would you like something to drink?"
"I do not require liquid refreshments at this time, but thank you for asking," Seven responded, remembering the etiquette lessons the Doctor had instructed her in.
At that moment the Doctor himself spotted them and came over.
"Seven, so glad you decided to join the festivities!" he exclaimed in his usual, flamboyant manner.
Seven inclined her head towards him in acknowledgement. She quickly surveyed the rest of the room while the Doctor discussed something about his holo-emitter with B'Elanna. All the senior staff were here along with at least another third of the crew. More were sure to join them when their duty shift ended.
She noticed Neelix had chosen to use the Sandrine's program. In the middle of the room there was a small band consisting of a piano player and Harry on saxophone. They were currently playing a rather upbeat piece of music and many of the crew were partnering up and dancing. She observed the couples dancing and that is when she spotted the Captain. She was dancing with Chakotay, her head thrown back in laughter at something he had just said.
Seven felt her stomach clench slightly at the sight. She frowned internally at the feeling. She had been experiencing a lot of odd sensations and feelings around the Captain lately, this was another new one to add to the list. And if she were interpreting this feeling correctly, it was jealously.
She watched Chakotay twirl the Captain across the dance floor, all the while the feeling building more and more inside her. Then the Captain turned and looked at her, their eyes met and for a second Seven felt a connection, then just as quickly the Captain turned away.
Seven sighed in disgust. Disgust with herself for letting someone have the power to make her feel pain. She did not blame the Captain, how could the Captain know what Seven felt? How could the Captain know that Seven was in love with her?
Seven now knew that is what she was feeling for her Captain. She had known for sometime now, for months, and time was not making the feelings lessen at all. It did not help that ever since the Captain had rescued her from the Borg Queen she had been spending less and less time with Seven. And after this last incident, when she had taken a shuttlecraft thinking there was a conspiracy aboard Voyager and the Captain had come after her, things had only gotten worse. The Captain now avoided her all the time. She only seemed to speak to the Captain now over their communicator's. Seven was amazed by how much this hurt and she was even more amazed that there was nothing she could do to stop the pain.
She had researched the subject of love extensively, hoping to find a way to stop her feelings for the Captain, but after weeks of reading all available data, one thing was obvious, there was no way to stop these feelings. Love had no reason; no logic and Seven didn't quite know what to do about her feelings.
Lately she had just been throwing herself into work more then ever. She now spent every minute of her life that she was not regenerating working in Astrometrics or Engineering. Thankfully B'Elanna was grateful for her assistance.
Despite herself she had spent some time thinking about why the Captain was avoiding her and had come to a disturbing conclusion. After Seven's recent behavior the Captain no longer liked her. Could no longer tolerate her. The Captain had finally run out of patience.
Seven watched as the music
changed to a slower song and Chakotay pulled the Captain into a more intimate
dance position. Seven's stomach clenched at the sight and she felt a strong
surge of anger. Seven finally turned away from the pair.
"Mr. Paris, I would like a drink now," Seven said forcefully just as Tom came back with B'Elanna's drink.
"Sure Seven, what's your poison?"
Seven had heard Tom use this expression before, "What is B'Elanna drinking?"
"I'm not exactly sure of the name, but it's some type of alcohol that Neelix picked up from a Tarellean trader. It was a big hit with the crew last time he got some."
"I will have one of those then as well," Seven replied.
"Uh, Seven, I don't think that's a good idea. This stuff is pretty potent; doesn't drinking effect your cortical implant?" B'Elanna stated, more to remind the Borg then anything else.
"I would like one of those," Seven repeated firmly, pointing to B'Elanna's drink. The look in her eyes made B'Elanna decide not to argue about it any further.
"Whatever you want then, Tom, go get Seven a drink," B'Elanna ordered the pilot.
As soon as Tom was gone B'Elanna asked, "Are you alright, Seven?"
"I am functioning within normal parameters," Seven replied shortly, her icy Borg demeanor quickly reasserting itself when her emotions were too much for her to handle.
Tom returned with Seven's drink and handed it to her. Seven thanked him and excused herself from their company. She then chose a table in a dark, isolated corner and sat down. No one was likely to notice her here.
She had noticed B'Elanna was surprised when she excused herself, but she no longer felt like being in their company. Nor in anyone's company for that matter, all except for one woman who would no longer give her the time of day.
Seven remembered what she had read about alcohol enabling people to forget their feelings. That is what she wanted to do right now. She put the glass to her lips and took a small sip. It tasted surprisingly sweet and fruity. Much like a cocktail juice she had tried once. She quickly drank the rest of the glass down.
She waited a few minutes and concluded it must take more then one drink because she could still feel her emotions for the Captain.
Just then Ensign Powers walked up to her table.
"Would you like a refill, Seven?" he asked, smiling what he considered a charming smile at her.
"Yes, I would."
"I'll be right back."
He returned quickly and sat the drink down in front of her.
"Thank you Ensign."
"No problem," he replied, flashing that ridiculous smile at her again.
Seven was not sure why he was still standing there. Maybe he was waiting to be dismissed.
"You may leave, Ensign," she tried.
"Um...ah...um..." Ensign Powers stammered.
"You may leave NOW," Seven ordered, placing her extreme Borg-like emphasis on the last word, leaving no room for doubt.
The Ensign needed no further convincing and practically ran away from the table. Seven sighed to herself and hoped the second drink would take away her emotions. She quickly drank it down. After another few minutes she still felt nothing. She wondered how many of these she would have to drink.
She saw a waiter walking around the tables and stood up slightly out of the darkened corner to get his attention.
"Bring me another four of these," she ordered him.
He inclined his head in acknowledgment and went to get her drinks.
Two hours later the Captain yanked Seven towards her as soon as Seven stepped, or nearly fell off the small stage Tom Paris had programmed for her.
The Captain couldn't believe her eyes ten minutes prior when she was talking to Chakotay. Tom Paris had gotten up on the small stage and told them all that a crewmember had agreed to sing one of his favourite rock and roll songs for them. There was a lot of whooping and shouting encouragement to the brave crewmember that was yet to be seen. Even the Captain was looking forward to it. And then Tom said, "please put your hands up for, SEVEN!!!!"
The Captain had choked on her drink as Seven walked out onto the stage. It was surprise enough that it was Seven, but not only was it Seven, it was Seven dressed in black leather pants, a black cotton t-shirt, black leather belt and black leather jacket with her blonde hair flowing freely around her shoulders. The crew were momentarily stunned and then started shouting encouragement louder then ever with a few suggestive comments and blatant propositions thrown in.
The Captain knew she should do something, she should stop this, but she sat there utterly stunned, her eyes riveted to Seven. She could not believe what she was seeing and she realized her mouth was hanging open. She shut it quickly, but still did not move. Closing her mouth had taken all the concentration she could muster.
Seven sang beautifully, flawlessly, but it was obvious she was plastered. Though her vocals were perfect, her coordination was not. Paris must have instructed Seven to dance around the stage a bit and on a few occasions Janeway was concerned she might instead topple off the stage. She really should intervene. Seven was so obviously not herself and she was concerned how Seven would feel about her...performance in the morning. Instead she sat captivated, her eyes nearly popping out of her head when Seven winked at a nearby crewmember.
One thing was certain; she was going to kill Ensign Paris.
After the song Tom came back on stage and asked Seven if she would do another.
"Of course!" she had said loudly, patting him on the back, "as soon as I have another drink."
That snapped the Captain out of her stupor and she stood up to approach the stage and have a word with Seven. She noticed how drunk quite a few of her crew were on the way to Seven, including Tom Paris. She herself was slightly tipsy, but she had obviously been more careful then the rest of her crew about how much she had consumed. If a Red Alert broke out right now they'd be in real shit.
She now had Seven by the arm and was trying to guide her away from the congratulating crew and into a more secluded corner of the bar.
"Take your hand off me!" Seven slurred before she realized who it was. "Oh, Captain!" Seven said in surprise.
Finally Janeway had her in a quieter corner of the bar.
"Seven," she hissed, trying to stay quiet, "what the hell do you think you're doing?" Janeway demanded of Seven, turning her around so they were facing each other.
Janeway winced internally at how harsh her words sounded, but this had taken her so aback that she hadn't had time to compose herself.
"I am having fun, "letting my hair down" as Tom refers to it," Seven answered, regarding the Captain carefully. Actually, she was just trying to focus on her.
"Seven, you're drunk! More then drunk, smashed!" Janeway exclaimed. "And since when do you call Ensign Paris, Tom?"
Mentally Janeway immediately asked herself why it mattered that Seven called him Tom? She should be happy that Seven was making better friends with the rest of the crew. Still, the thought of her spending one on one time with Tom caused a rather unpleasant sensation in the pit of her stomach.
"Since tonight when he instructed me to and I do believe I am drunk as well. I think I quite like it. This alcohol allows you to break free." Seven explained, using another term Paris had taught her.
Janeway groaned, her face taking on a look of exasperation. She rubbed her temples as she felt the stirrings of a headache.
"Seven, you're not even acting like yourself! I mean, look at you!" Janeway said, motioning towards Seven's new leather clothes.
"What is wrong with me?" Seven asked defensively, her face also taking on a defensive look.
"Nothing's wrong with you, not that way. I mean look at you, you're beautiful and these clothes certainly fit you well, but this is just not you." Janeway tried to explain.
Seven had only heard one part of the sentence.
"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked, sounding uncertain.
Janeway groaned again and mentally kicked herself. Brilliant Kathy, you had to open your mouth didn't you! She couldn't deny the truth of what she said though. Seven was beautiful. The way the leather pants fit her like another skin, the black t-shirt tight around her breasts, clearly showing them off and the way her blonde hair framed her face, her blue eyes glittering, she was stunning.
"Yes, Seven, I do think you're beautiful. Anyone with eyes would think so," Janeway responded, telling the truth of what she felt, yet trying to cover it at the same time.
Janeway had been avoiding Seven like the plague lately because her feelings for the young Borg had started to consume her. There were so many times when she was around Seven all she could think about was what it would be like to taste her lips, to feel her body pressing against hers. She had had these feelings for Seven for more then a year, but they got rather out of control after Seven had taken a shuttlecraft and tried to leave Voyager, convinced that they were all conspiring against her. Ever since that time in the shuttle, when she was on her knees in front of Seven, only inches from her sweet lips, her feelings had spiraled out of control. The only way she could control them was to stop all contact with Seven.
Seven smiled at her and Janeway was stunned. She had never seen Seven smile before; she wasn't even sure Seven could smile. It lit up her face, her eyes, gave her an even greater look of beauty if that were possible.
Janeway uttered the words out loud before she even knew she said them.
Seven continued to smile at her, that beautiful, perfect smile. Then Janeway noticed Seven was stepping closer to her, Seven's hand was reaching up for her cheek. Her head was coming towards her own.
Janeway took a quick step backwards in shock.
"Seven, what are you doing?"
The smile instantly fell from Seven's face, replaced with confusion and hurt.
"I am doing nothing!" she shouted, drawing looks from a few of the crewmembers.
Janeway glared at them and they quickly turned away.
Somewhere in Seven's inebriated brain she realized what she said did not make much sense, but the Captain's rejection had hurt her and until now she had managed, with the assistance of the alcohol, to ignore her feelings for the Captain. It was only the Captain's presence that had brought them rushing back and the Captain's compliment, which obviously was only meant platonically.
Seven needed to get away from her and turned away to leave.
The Captain had other ideas though and grabbed Seven's arm. Seven immediately tensed up and if it had been anyone other then Janeway, they would have gotten a Borg right hook.
"Remove your hand, Captain," Seven said, trying to sound like her normal Borg, aloof self, but the alcohol had affected her too much and it was badly slurred.
"We need to talk, Seven. What was your intention just now?" Janeway asked again. Her mind was screaming at her to shut up, to stop forcing the issue, but she couldn't.
Seven turned back to the Captain, her body rigid and tense, anger on her face at being cornered.
Janeway didn't blink, "The truth," she added, looking into Seven's angry blue gaze.
Looking into the caring depths of Janeway's eyes seemed to melt the drunken Borg's anger. The angry fire went out of her eyes and changed instantly into a more resigned, depressed look.
"Very well, Captain," she started, trying very hard not to slur her words too much, "the truth. I was going to kiss you because I am in love with you."
Janeway was sure that at that moment someone had tampered with the environmental controls because she suddenly couldn't breath.
"I have loved you for quite some time now. I had tried to think of many ways to tell you, but it became apparent to me in these last few weeks that any admission on my part would be met with indifference. You have distanced yourself from me to the point of only talking with me via our communicator's and only when it is concerning ship's business, so I fail to see how this admission can do either one of us any good," Seven finished, feeling very depressed now and looking at the floor.
Janeway was sure she was going to faint, or at least fall to her knees. If Seven had looked at her, she would have seen the warring emotions playing across her face.
"You do not have to say anything, Captain. I know you do not reciprocate. I will keep trying to block these feelings out. Maybe you are also right to put distance between us, it does hurt slightly less when I am not in your presence," Seven explained.
Janeway still hadn't breathed. She must be turning blue by now.
Seven wanted to get out of here. The Captain had said nothing and she was starting to feel very sick. She needed to go back to Cargo Bay 2. She wasn't sure how much longer she could stand up.
Commander Chakotay walked up to the pair then.
"Are you okay, Seven? You don't look so good," he observed.
"I do not feel so good, Commander. I think I will retire for the evening."
"Don't leave now, Seven, I have another song I'd love for you to sing!" Tom Paris exclaimed rather loudly, having overheard Seven's statement as he was walking up to them.
"I am sorry, Tom, but I do not feel very good," Seven reiterated, feeling sicker with each passing second.
"Oh, sorry to hear that. I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, patting her lightly on the arm. "Remember, 2000 hours." He winked at her and was gone.
"You okay to get to the Cargo Bay by yourself, Seven?" the Commander asked.
"Yes, I will be okay," she said, but then stumbled slightly when she turned around to leave.
"Whoa, hold on a minute. Harry!" Chakotay shouted, "take Seven back to Cargo Bay 2. She's had a little too much to drink."
Harry came jogging over and took Seven's arm, escorting her out of the Holodeck.
"Captain, are you okay?" Chakotay asked, noticing the Captain didn't look very good either.
Janeway didn't answer him. She was too stunned at the turn of events. She was too stunned to even think, she needed to go to her quarters. She needed to regroup. She needed to breathe.
Janeway sucked in a large gulp of air and turned to face Chakotay. "Actually, I'm not feeling too well either. I think I'll head off."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Chakotay asked, genuinely concerned.
"No, no, I'll be fine. I just need to sleep I think."
"Alright, see you tomorrow then."
Janeway stood with her back against the doors to her quarters. They were the only things keeping her upright. She was still in shock. She didn't even remember the walk to her quarters.
Seven loves me, she told herself for the hundredth time. The Borg's words kept playing in her mind like a song she just couldn't stop hearing.
She also kept thinking about how Seven had looked. So vulnerable and sad. Hurt. The word rang in her mind like a red alert claxon. She saw in Seven's eyes how much pain she was in. How confused and lost she was. It was there for anyone to read; yet somehow no one had seen it. Certainly not herself. No, she was too caught up in her own emotions, in her own pain, to notice that Seven was so unhappy. Why would you see it? You haven't spent five minutes alone with her in a long time.
She sighed in disgust with herself and slowly slid down the doors to her quarters until she was sitting in a heap on the floor. She felt like crying, screaming, running. What was she supposed to do now?
She had admitted her feelings for Seven to herself after the shuttle incident, she could no longer deny them to herself anymore, but she certainly buried them, now they were again; unearthed. The entire equation had changed. Whereas before she convinced herself what she was doing was right for Seven's sake, well, now she could no longer convince herself of any such thing.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, suddenly feeling very lonely and cold. Tears started flowing down her cheeks and she was helpless to stop them. Soon she was crying freely, allowing her bottled up emotions to wash over her.
After twenty minutes she made herself stop, she needed to get herself together, work out what she was going to do now. Seven had laid herself bare to her and she had just stood there like...like...ugh! It made her sick just thinking about it.
She stood up and went into her bedroom, stripping her uniform off and turning on the shower. The gentle spray felt heavenly washing over her body and she let herself enjoy it for a brief moment before settling her thoughts back on Seven, back on what she should do now.
She was in unknown territory. Never had she had a relationship with a crewmember. While Starfleet did not forbid it, they certainly did not condone it. Every Starship Captain was given the "don't fraternize with your crew" speech. She herself had firmly believed and lived by that unwritten rule. It could only cause errors in judgement if you got involved with someone under you. Still, her life had changed a lot since she had to last consider that policy. Six years in the Delta Quadrant, with who knew how many more to go, made you rethink things. Especially when you had a six-foot blonde confessing their love for you. She might be on this ship for the rest of her life...would she have to live that life alone?
She sighed and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and quickly drying herself off. She put on a pair of blue silk boxers and a white tshirt.
"Coffee, black," she ordered the replicator, now back in her living area.
She took a sip from the soothing, hot beverage and sat down on the couch. She needed to decide what to do. If only it were easier. If only she wasn't Captain. That was a silly thought though; she wouldn't want to be anything else. There had to be a way she could make her professional life work with her personal one. Until now, she had forgone a personal life, giving herself entirely to her Captain persona. Hell, until her feelings for Seven, she wasn't sure there was anything left of her except for the Captain. Seven had awoken feelings and desires in her she thought long dead. Feelings she had decided she could no longer have because of getting them all stranded in the Delta Quadrant.
She realized now that was part of her punishment to herself. Give up everything you are and everything you feel except for being Captain. She made herself become Captain day and night, sleeping or awake. There was nothing else for her and she felt that was what she deserved. No happiness, no comfort, not until Voyager was once again back in Earth's orbit. Then Seven of Nine had walked into her life.
Janeway smiled deprecatingly at herself. You never saw that one coming did you Kathy? No, she sure as hell hadn't.
And now Seven of Nine had confessed her love for her. Seven of Nine, late of the Borg collective had had more guts then she did. A woman, who, four years ago, had no feelings, now had the strength, the courage, to confess her love. To give herself over to it and embrace it, despite the pain it caused her, despite how confusing it was to her. She was such a remarkable young woman.
And she loves you, her mind reminded her again.
Yes, she loves me. She could hardly believe it. This, vibrant, intelligent, beautiful young woman was in love with her! Janeway was having a hard time fully accepting that, but one thing was certain about Seven, she never said something unless she meant it.
I don't know why she loves me, but now that I know my feelings are returned, I can't abandon them anymore. I can't abandon her.
She winced when she thought about how she had treated Seven lately. When she thought of how her actions had effected the young Borg. The sadness and pain in her eyes when she told Janeway she didn't expect her to return her feelings. When she told her that she had been right to put distance between them.
Janeway groaned in anguish thinking about it. "No more." She said out loud. The time for half-truths and concealment was over. She still wasn't sure how this would work, if it could work, but it wasn't just up to her to decide that. Seven deserved the truth. Together they would decide what to do.
She went to her bedroom, quickly pulled on a pair of black sweat pants and walked out of her quarters, heading for Cargo Bay 2. It was high time she stopped being a coward.
Janeway walked into Cargo Bay 2 expecting to find Seven regenerating in her alcove, but she was not there. She stood in front of the alcove, puzzlement creasing her forehead.
"Computer, what is the location of Seven Of Nine?"
"Seven of Nine is in Cargo Bay 2," the feminine tones answered.
Janeway looked around her once again, not seeing her. She couldn't help but become slightly concerned. Then she heard a quiet whimper coming from somewhere.
She walked past the alcoves towards the back of the shuttle bay and there she found her. Seven of Nine was lying on a cot. She was on her side with her legs pulled up to her chest. One arm wrapped around her knees, the arm underneath her wrapped around her shoulder. She was still dressed her black leather ensemble, her hair down. Despite the situation and the obvious discomfort Seven was in from the whimpers she would give every now and then, Janeway was again captured by this woman's beauty.
Janeway walked to the cot and knelt beside it, smiling softly. She put her hand on Seven's forehead; she was concerned when Seven felt highly feverish.
"Seven," she said softly, "Seven, wake up."
Seven was in hell, she was sure of it. Everywhere around her Janeway stood, but each time she would take a step to approach her, Janeway would take a step away. She could not get close to her no matter how fast she moved. Then she was in a dark room, she could see nothing, but she could hear Janeway's voice calling to her. That low, husky voice beckoning to her. She followed it instinctively.
"Seven," she heard again.
Now she felt someone softly stroking her hair, it was soothing and she concentrated on the sensation, allowing herself to believe it was Janeway.
She slowly opened her eyes, finding it a very difficult task. They felt very heavy and the light was hurting her eyes, making her squint.
"Seven, are you okay?" the concerned voice of Janeway asked her.
Seven moved her eyes towards the voice and found herself staring into the caring blue depths of her Captain. She blinked in confusion when she realized it was also Janeway's hand stroking her hair.
"I believe I am suffering from an hallucination," she said out loud.
Janeway felt her heart clench in pain, not only at the words, but at how red Seven's eyes were. She must have cried herself to sleep. Over you, her mind taunted her. She closed her eyes briefly and sighed.
"No, Seven, I'm really here," she assured, still stroking the soft blonde hair.
Seven was unsure what to say. She had already confessed her feelings to Janeway and had been rejected. What was she doing here?
"I do not understand," Seven said simply.
Janeway smiled to reassure her.
"I know. We need to talk and I'll explain, but first let's get you to sickbay so the Doctor can help you with this hangover."
Seven sat up and felt slightly sick from doing so. When she attempted to stand she was not successful.
"I do not believe I can get to sickbay, Captain," Seven said, sounding slightly afraid.
Janeway rubbed Seven’s back reassuringly.
"Put your arm around my neck," she instructed, bending down to the Borg's sitting position. Once Seven had done so she put her arm around Seven's waist and helped her to her feet. Seven seemed to be able to stand up with her assistance. "Now, let's get you to sickbay."
Seven was grateful for the Captain's assistance, but she didn't understand what Janeway was doing there. Why had she come to see her? She had assumed that the Captain would stay as far away from her as possible. Seven felt so awful right now though that she did not dwell on it for now. She spent more time concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and not throwing up. The Captain had said she would explain and for the moment that was good enough.
Janeway brought a staggering Seven of Nine into sickbay minutes later.
“Doctor,” she said, raising her voice slightly so he would hear her in his office, “some assistance please.”
Seven was feeling quite ill. The only comfort was Janeway by her side. Under other circumstances she would have taken more then just comfort from having Janeway this close to her, but right now anything of that nature was the furthest thing from her mind.
The Doctor took one look at Seven and frowned severely. He then begin to scan her with his tricorder.
“Seven, I warned you at the party not to drink so much,” he said, shaking his head at her.
Seven only groaned in response, not feeling up to engaging the Doctor in his typical patronizing banter.
“Later, Doctor,” Janeway told him, “my question is how did she get into this state so quickly? She only left two hours ago?”
“Her nanoprobes have sped up the entire process. They are trying to purge the liquor from her system and in doing so she is going through the stages of inebriation much faster then a normal human would.” He explained, taking a hypospray from a nearby table and injecting the contents into Seven’s neck with a hiss. “This will make her feel the hang over less severely, but she should still take it easy. I would suggest lying down for a while in a real bed.” Instructed the Doctor, looking more kindly at Seven now. Seven didn’t lie down, but she did sit on the biobed behind her.
“How long is this process going to take, Doctor?” Seven whimpered, feeling extremely vulnerable in her current condition, a feeling she despised.
“With the rate your nanoprobes are working I would say you should be back to your normal self within four hours.”
Seven groaned. The injection had helped somewhat, she no longer felt the urge to throw up and she felt like she could probably walk now, but her eyes were still very sensitive to the light and her head ached.
“You can stay here if you like and rest until you are feeling better,” he offered.
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll take care of her, Doctor,” Janeway blurted before Seven could respond.
Both Seven and the Doctor looked at her with surprise.
“Very well, Captain,” the Doctor conceded. He then went back into his office, feeling like something was going on between them that he didn’t want to know about.
Janeway looked at Seven and smiled. Seven was still looking at her with surprise and confusion.
“I think I have…missed something,” Seven told Janeway.
“Another phrase Paris taught you?” she asked lightly.
“Yes,” was the simple answer.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“Not better enough,” she answered frowning.
Janeway put her hand on Seven’s arm and gave it a slight squeeze.
“Come with me. Let’s get you more comfortable.”
Seven slid off the biobed and then stopped.
“Where are we going?”
“My quarters,” Janeway answered, not missing a beat and guiding Seven out of sickbay.
Seven thought she must still be hallucinating, but followed Janeway without a word.
Upon entering Janeway's quarters she instructed the computer to put the lights to half. Seven was extremely grateful as the sharp bolts of pain stopped shooting through her eyes.
"Have a seat, Seven," Janeway instructed. "I'll get you a glass of water."
Seven sat down with a sigh of relief. This is certainly not where she had thought she would end up being tonight. She had left the Holodeck feeling sick and depressed. She had assumed now that she had confessed her feelings the last thing the Captain would want would be to have her in her quarters. She was feeling very confused by the Captain's behaviour. Now that she was starting to feel slightly better, she needed to talk to her. The couch shifted slightly as Janeway sat down next to Seven, putting a glass of water in front of her and having a coffee for herself.
"Captain, I do not understand your actions tonight. Why did you come to see me in the Cargo Bay?" Seven asked in her normal, direct way.
"Feeling better, Seven?" Janeway smiled.
"I am functioning more acceptably yes, thank you, Captain."
Janeway studied Seven briefly. She was looking much better and sounding much more like herself. No more slurring and certainly her cool demenour was back in place. Now that she was sitting her next to her though, confronted with her, she found herself once again questioning her actions. Maybe she had been too rash, too emotional in going to Cargo Bay 2 to talk to Seven about the events earlier. Maybe she was being selfish...after all, Seven had no experience with love. If she was the first person Seven ascribed these feelings to, how could Seven know for certain that love was really what she was feeling?
Don't be stupid Kathryn! You know damn well Seven is not as naive as you sometimes make her out to be. Besides, that confession she gave you tonight was hardly naive, nor was there any hesitancy in her words, besides the slight slurring here and there Janeway thought to herself with a small grin. It had been rather endearing, though at the time she had been too shocked to think of it in those terms.
"Captain?" saying her name by way of question.
Janeway looked back at Seven, she had a slight frown on her face as if she were trying to figure something out. You, her mind told her. Right, time to stop being a coward remember Kathy?
"I came to see you about…your confession," Janeway finally managed.
Seven's frown increased slightly and she sighed.
"Captain, I am sorry for my...outburst tonight. I...I..." Seven floundered. She looked down at the space between them studying the couch cushion, her hair falling in front of her face. She really didn't know what to say or how to explain. She had already explained and even if her feelings were inappropriate she refused to take them back.
Janeway watched Seven bow her head in embarrassment and felt her own resolve firm. There was absolutely no reason Seven had to feel this way, they both felt the same for each other and if Seven had enough courage to admit it then so should she. She carefully reached out to Seven's chin and put her fingers underneath to raise Seven's eyes to her own.
"I wanted to apologize." She noticed Seven's eyes grow slightly larger at her words. "I'm sorry I only stood there dumbfounded after what you said to me. I didn't expect it and you took me completely by surprise. I shouldn't have let you leave that way," she stopped then to take a breath before continuing and self-consciously removed her fingers from Seven's chin. She was suddenly unsure how to continue telling Seven of her own feelings. Should she just tell the young woman she loved her as well? Was it so simple as that? "I wanted to kiss you back," she finally managed to get out past the lump in her throat. How on earth had Seven been able to just come out with it? This felt harder then giving the order to abandon ship. She never had been very good with putting her heart out there though.
She watched as Seven slowly processed what she said. First there was confusion and then slowly, recognition as her borg enhanced eyebrow raised.
"Captain, does this mean that you..." Seven couldn't finish the sentence, afraid she had read too much into what Janeway had said, though she was not sure how she could have.
"Yes, I love you as well. I have loved you for a long time now. I'm sorry I never could find the courage to tell you before now, but I was...afraid."
Janeway couldn't believe she had finally said it, she was thrilled and terrified all at once. The look on the Borg's face was worth every fear she had ever had though. Seven sported the largest, most beaming smile she had ever seen radiate from the woman
"You...you love me as well?" Seven said, needing to hear confirmation for some reason she could not describe.
Janeway smiled, "Yes Seven, I do."
Then the second part of her sentence seemed to register to Seven as the Borg's face quickly turned from the radiant smile to a small frown.
"Why were you afraid, Captain?"
Janeway sighed, that was the million-dollar question wasn't it? "Call me Kathryn, Seven." She then got up and walked to her view port to look out at the stars quickly going by while she gave thought to Seven's question.
Seven was again smiling at being granted permission to call the Captain, Kathryn. The smile didn't last long though as she studied the slouched body posture of Kathryn at the view port.
"Many reasons," she began, sighing audibly, "I stranded us here in the Delta Quadrant, I hardly deserve happiness or love when I've taken that from so many crew member's on this ship."
"Kathryn," Seven interrupted, enjoying the way the name rolled off her tongue, "It is not your fault that the Caretakers array pulled this ship here. By destroying it you stopped the destruction of an entire species, something the crew would never hold against you."
Kathryn turned to look at Seven and gave a small smile. "Believe it or not, I've actually come to terms with all that. I had quite the talk with myself before I came to see you in Cargo Bay 2. Still, it is always a decision that will haunt me. What my fear is mostly based on now is my own feelings for you Seven. They consume me. The love I feel for you is unlike anything I have ever felt for anyone else before. I am afraid how that will effect my command judgement, afraid that I'll lose objectivity."
Seven stood as she watched the conflict of emotions rage in Kathryn's eyes. Kathryn quickly looked away, not used to being so vulnerable in front of anyone. She saw Seven's boot's come into her line of vision and knew she was only an arm's length away.
"That will not happen, Kathryn," Seven stated in her usual firm manner, "you say you have felt this way for some time now and you have not lost your command ability in the least."
"It's different now, Seven. Now you know, now I've admitted it to you. If we are to pursue this, I just...it will be much more difficult for me, believe me."
Now Seven mimicked her gesture from earlier, putting her fingers underneath her chin and bringing their eyes together.
"We will adapt, Kathryn," Seven simply stated, but her eyes conveyed so much more. Warmth, love, understanding.
"I suppose we will," Kathryn chuckled lightly, feeling a loss as Seven removed her fingers from her chin.
"I will not let you jeopardize your command of this vessel, Kathryn. Together we will face and overcome any obstacles we may encounter," Seven told her with an authority and ease that made Kathryn's doubts and fears seem trivial.
She was captured in Seven's ice blue gaze, letting herself fall into the feelings she felt for Seven, finally not holding them back or trying to rationalize them away.
Seven was overwhelmed with emotions, though outwardly she did not show it very much. These emotions were so new to her and they frightened her in their intensity, yet looking into Kathryn's eyes, she felt safer then she ever had. She had never before looked into someone's eyes and seen love looking back at her, it was a feeling she would never forget.
"Yes," her voice dropping to a much deeper tone.
"I would very much like to kiss you now."
Kathryn took the one step between them that now brought their bodies within centimeters of each other. She reached her hand up to the back of Seven's neck and slowly tugged her downward towards her waiting lips. They kept eye contact until they were too close to focus on each other any longer. Then less then a second later their lips were touching, tentatively at first, both taking in the texture and feel of each other's lips. Then Kathryn flicked her tongue over Seven's bottom lip causing the young Borg to lose the last of her cool reserve. She wrapped her arms around Kathyrn's waist bringing their bodies crushing together. In response Kathryn slid her fingers into Seven's hair, while her other arm came up to circle her neck, her hand flat against her back, trying to push them even closer together. Seven's tongue plunged into her mouth, dancing hotly and wetly with her own, both moaning softly at the contact.
Seven was overwhelmed by the multitude of emotions she was being assailed with. She had fantasized about this moment for so long, but never had her fantasies been this good. Kathryn's tongue felt like velvet against her own. Her head felt like it was floating somewhere above her body from the intensity of her feelings. Her arms were wrapped around her, her hands now trailing down to her ass of their own accord and before she knew what she was doing she was squeezing the two pieces of soft, yet firm flesh, which caused Kathryn to gasp into her mouth.
You're moving too fast Kathryn! She reluctantly pulled back from the kiss as the words from her annoying conscience penetrated her passionate haze. Her hands now resting on Seven's shoulders she looked into Seven's eyes. She nearly gasped aloud when she saw the half-lidded, erotic gaze directed back at her. Never had she seen Seven look so...uncontrolled.
"Why me, Seven?" She wasn't exactly sure why she asked the question now, but it had been on her mind.
It took Seven a moment longer then normal to process the question. When she finally did, she had a confused look on her face. "I am not sure what you are referring to?"
"Why did you fall in love with me? You could have anyone on this ship. Someone younger, with less responsibility, someone who could devote themselves to you without having to worry about being pulled in two directions." Kathryn explained. She really hadn't meant to voice these concerns now and spoil the mood, but there it was.
Seven only smiled at her though and put her hand on Kathryn's cheek, looking into her eyes.
"Kathryn, I have learned love has no reason or logic. To me you are perfection. I love everything about you; your courage, compassion, honesty, intelligence. Your unhealthy coffee obsession," this caused Kathryn to frown slightly in good humour, "the way your eyes convey your every mood and I love hearing your voice. That husky, deep tone it has whenever we are alone. Your laugh, your smile, the way you challenge me. You are the only person aboard this ship who has ever made me feel like this."
Then Seven was bringing her head back down to Kathryn's, capturing her lips in another searing kiss and again pulling them together. Kathryn felt the last of her doubts vanish as she gave herself over to Seven. The kiss became more passionate and soon Seven's hands were again on her ass, squeezing gently, causing Kathryn to run her own hands up and down Seven's back in encouragement.
"Seven," she barely got out, pulling back from the kiss briefly, "are you sure we're not going too fast?"
Seven had that half-lidded gaze again, "I am sure." Then she was consuming Kathryn again.
Kathryn ran her hands through Seven's hair, luxuriating in the feel of the soft strands. Seven broke the kiss and was now moving her lips to Kathryn's ear where she proceeded to sensually suck and nip at her earlobe. Kathryn groaned her appreciation, her hands moving around to the front of Seven where she slid them up inside her jacket and grabbed two handfuls of soft, yielding flesh.
Seven groaned in response as her breasts were squeezed, never having been touched this way by anyone. She had no idea how to control her reactions or impulses when she was with Kathryn like this. Kathryn then pinched her erect nipples, causing Seven to push her against the wall.
Kathryn let out a small "omph" when she impacted the wall. She could tell both their emotions were spiraling out of control and for once she let herself, she gave herself up to the sensations Seven was causing, to the primal desire growing inside her.
"Seven," she managed to get out, her voice deeper then even herself could ever remember hearing it, "I want to see you."
Seven reluctantly ceased her exploration of Kathryn's ear and neck and pulled her head back to raise one eyebrow at her.
Kathryn couldn't help but grin at the Borg like response. "Take a step back from me."
Seven complied, although still not sure what Kathryn had in mind.
Kathryn let her eyes travel the length of the body in front of her. The golden blonde hair hanging around Seven's shoulders, the intense ice blue eyes gazing at her, down to the sleek, leonine neck that she wanted to leave her mark on. Then down to the black leather jacket, which was now fully open revealing Seven's breasts tightly hugged in the small black tshirt. Further down past the flat abdomen to those long, long legs wrapped in black leather, her feet sporting black leather boots. She grinned seductively as she thought about what treasure was waiting for her inside all that leather. Seven was standing before her, a perfect vision of beauty.
"Seven," she husked.
Seven gulped before she replied. Kathryn was looking at her like she was going to eat her alive.
"Yes, Kathryn?" she replied, only taking a moment to wonder when her own voice had taken on such a deep, sensual quality.
"You can stop your search for perfection."
"I can?" Seven asked, not knowing what else to say, just that she badly wanted to touch Kathryn again.
"Oh yes," she purred, "I have just found it standing in front of me."
Kathryn then grabbed Seven's belt, yanking her back into her arms, her tongue entering her mouth as soon as their lips met.
"Bedroom," Kathryn mumbled against Seven's lips.
Seven needn't be told twice. She unceremoniously grabbed Kathryn ass, lifting her off the floor and up to her own height causing Kathryn to wrap her legs around Seven's back. Lips still firmly locked to each other's Seven felt the heat radiating from Kathryn's center through her thin t-shirt. She purposely walked into the bedroom and lowered them both to the Queen size bed.
She slid one of her legs between Kathryn's legs and against the source of the heat she had felt. Kathryn groaned and undulated against Seven's thigh slowly, taking slow pleasure from the motion. Seven continued where she had left off and began to again lick and suck Kathryn's earlobe and neck while her hand drifted up the side of her and began to caress her breast through her own thin shirt.
"Yes, Seven," she got out between clenched teeth when Seven took her nipple between her fingers and manipulated it.
Kathryn brought her arms from around Seven's back to go underneath the jacket, this time sliding it off the Borg's shoulders and tossing it aside. Then she reached her hands down and pulled the t-shirt out of Seven's pants, bringing it as far up Seven's body as it would go before they had to break off their kiss so she could bring the shirt over Seven's head and toss that to the floor as well. She let out a small groan when she saw Seven had no bra on, her breasts now in her hands, savouring the softness of them, wanting to taste them.
Swiftly she changed positions with Seven so that now Seven was beneath her and she was looking down into the Borg's surprised eyes. Seven had no time to respond to the action as she quickly wrapped her lips around one of her erect nipples causing all thought to leave Seven's brain and only a startled cry to come out instead. She held the nipple between her teeth and gently licked at it with her tongue as she pressed her thigh in between Seven’s legs.
"Oh, Kathryn," Seven moaned out beneath her, squirming in pleasure.
She took the other nipple in between her fingers and manipulated that one as well, which elicited another appreciative cry from Seven. Then she was kissing a trail down Seven's chest, past her stomach where she stopped at the waistband of Seven's leather pants.
"Time to get these off," she told her, sliding the pants down her legs and tossing them to the floor along with the rest of her clothes. Seven had on a very small pair of black silk underwear, which she also carefully slid off and tossed aside.
Kathryn took in the sight that now lay before her. Seven was completely nude, her legs slightly open giving her a very good view of the nicely trimmed patch of blonde hair. It was glistening with wetness and then she could smell the faint scent of Seven's essence. She groaned audibly, feeling more aroused just by the look and smell of Seven then at any other time in her life. She slowly moved forward and placed light kisses on Seven's thighs. She felt Seven shudder slightly, causing herself to do the same.
"Your clothes, take them off," Seven said quietly, but intently. Too overcome with desire to speak any louder.
Kathryn quickly stripped herself of her own clothes, also tossing them to the floor in the gathering heap. Seven moaned in appreciation when Kathryn was naked and kneeling between her legs, her auburn hair framing her face, eyes a deep blue with desire, lips moist from where she had just licked them.
"I love you, Seven, and I intend on showing you all night just how much."
She then brought her head back down between Seven's legs where she began to softly kiss around her wet lips, breathing deeply of Seven's scent. She felt herself getting wetter and wetter as she gently licked between the soaked folds of skin. Deep, long swipes of her tongue up and down, plunging into Seven to lick every bit of wetness from her.
"Oh yes, Kathryn, yes!" Seven panted out above her. Her hands in Kathryn's hair urging her on.
When Kathryn reached down one hand to insert her finger into her, Seven stopped her.
"Wait," she barely managed to get out, breathing heavily from arousal.
Kathryn looked up in surprise, "Are you okay, Seven? Did I hurt you?" she asked worriedly.
Seven looked down at her, eyes heavy, "No, you did not, but...I want us to do this at the same time."
Kathryn quirked an eyebrow at her. It was a nice thought, but she wanted to taste Seven, to be inside her. She voiced her thoughts to Seven.
"I want that too. I would like to try the sixty-nine position."
Kathryn's eyes bugged out of her head. How the hell did Seven know that position!!! Seven had never even had sex so far as she knew...but then again maybe she didn't know as much as she thought she did.
"Seven," she stated tentatively, not sure how to ask when they were in this position, "have you...um...had sex before?"
"No, I am what would be described as a virgin, but I have done extensive research on sexual pleasure and techniques. I would not have come to you without knowing I could satisfy you."
Now it was Kathryn's turn to gulp. Yet, the erotic nature of the statement made her groin tingle. "Oh really?" she nearly squeaked, her voice rather high.
"Indeed," Seven merely responded, quirking her eyebrow she asked, "is this acceptable to you?"
Kathryn nearly fell off the bed.
"Indeed," she bantered back.
Then before she even knew what was happening Seven had pinned her to the bed, trapping her in another heated kiss.
"I love you as well, Kathryn."
Then suddenly she was looking at Seven's dripping center. She only took a brief moment to wonder how Seven had spun around so fast before she felt the young woman's tongue touch her own hot folds.
"Oh god! Yes Seven!" she yelled out as she felt the woman's tongue flick her clit.
Then she brought her hands up to Seven's thighs and pulled her down to her waiting mouth, letting out a primal growl as she caught the scent of Seven again. A part of her was still having trouble believing this was happening, that she was here, with Seven, like this. She kept praying it was not a dream she would wake from, or if it was a dream that she would never wake up. Little did she know Seven's thoughts were much like her own.
She pushed her tongue inside Seven and as she did so she felt Seven move from gently flicking her clit and also push her tongue inside her. They both moaned in pleasure, words not being an option as their mouths were otherwise occupied. Then she moved her tongue from the opening and ran it up and down Seven's length, Seven again mirrored her actions. For a moment she wondered if the young Borg was doing this because she was unsure what to do, but then she remembered Seven saying that she wanted it to happen for them at the same time. What better way then to feel exactly what you were doing to your lover?
She continued to run her tongue up and down Seven, then she brought one of her hands around and positioned two fingers at Seven's entrance. Seven did the same to Kathryn. Simultaneously they each felt one another enter the other as they both groaned at the penetration. Kathryn licked her way back up to Seven's clit while her fingers gently slid in and out of her opening, occasionally rubbing her g-spot, her actions being perfectly mirrored by Seven. Seven's hips started to slightly buck above her and she knew her own hips were also moving slightly, though not as freely since she was pinned to the bed. She trailed her tongue up to Seven's clit and sucked it into her mouth, both moaning deeply, causing a vibration to also be felt against their clits. As their tongues swirled around each other's clits, their fingers continued to pump in and out of each other, the speed increasing as they both felt the slick walls around their fingers begin to tighten. They both began to moan uncontrollably as their fingers and tongues continued their pleasurable assault, their moaning only adding to the sensations. Soon they were both reaching their peak, both feeling the muscles contract hotly around their fingers, trying to pull them deeper into each other. They held tightly to each other as they rode out their orgasms.
Kathryn collapsed against the bed as they both came down from the crest. She could feel Seven's arms trembling above her, trying to hold her up off Kathryn.
"Come here, Seven," Kathryn said softly.
Seven turned around, though not nearly as quickly this time and lowered herself next to Kathryn, quickly being embraced in her arms.
After a few minutes Kathryn opened her eyes to see a smiling Seven, propped on one elbow, looking down at her. She smiled in return.
"Kathryn, that was...incredible," Seven stated, a touch of awe in her voice.
"Yes, it was," she agreed, placing her hand on Seven's cheek. "I take it you must be feeling much better then?"
"I ceased to notice any remaining discomfort the second your lips touched mine."
"You're going to be quite the sweet talker," Kathryn chuckled.
Seven frowned in confusion, "Explain."
Kathryn laughed. "Later. Why don't you lay back down now and we'll try to follow the Doctor's orders a little bit better," she said sardonically.
"I am not tired. There are other things I am more interested in doing."
Kathryn stared at Seven as her face lit up in the most seductive smile she had ever seen. Then she felt Seven's hand trail down her chest to cup her breast and watched as Seven leaned over her and sucked the nipple into her mouth. She groaned as she felt herself getting wet again.
"You did say you were going to show me all night how much you love me," Seven reminded her, looking up for a moment, her fingers now manipulating Kathryn's nipple, that seductive smile back in place.
Kathryn moaned again as Seven leaned back down and flicked the erect nipple with her tongue.
"So I did," Kathryn’s voice husky with renewed desire, arching her body into Seven's touch, giving herself up to the woman she loved.